my coworker just told me about a kid he knew in second grade that was really allergic to peanuts but one day during lunch he said that he couldn’t take it anymore and wanted to know what reeses taste like so he pulled out his epipen, ate the reese cup then stabbed himself with the epipen and told the teacher to call the hospital and that kid is the most hardcore kid I’ve ever heard of I wanna be his friend
you put the condom on your dick
but you don’t actually do any fucking
it’s a metaphor
I can’t get laid
how to have a great start to your day
Have a really hot almost naked guy fall out of your bed? Sounds about right.